Does your body speak flirt much? - A few insiders

We came across a quite interesting article that once again makes it clear - Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.  Will the opposite sex ever grasp anything of one another?

Check out a few tricks and facts by Health 24's guide to understanding this. 

Body Language (BL) 1: What is body language? 

Flirting is a part of life. Try to understand the message that isn't said but shown by the body because it might just be more meaningful than words spoken. 

“These signals are so important because, like animals in the wild, humans are very wary of one another. A large part of flirting is about breaking it down into a series of stages where people are trying to get physically closer,” says David Givens, an anthropologist at the Centre for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington. The only way to communicate with a stranger without words is by means of subtle interpretations of each other's movements and behavioural patterns. And that gentlemen, is the key to getting lucky.

BL Lesson 2: Learn from your mistakes

So you spot a hotty in the corner of the bar. You reckon you’ve got a chance. You’ve had a couple, so your Dutch courage is at full blast. You peruse on over, and enquire if the fine young lady would like a drink. You leave covered in wine. What happened?

You didn’t see the signs, of course. If you had looked closely at how she was acting, you could have saved yourself a trip to the dry cleaners. Here are some things to look for when trying to score.

BL Lesson 3: Moving in groups 

Humans are pack animals. Whether we play in sports teams or go out, we tend to stick together. OK, so you get the odd Nigel-No-Mates in the corner of the bar, but women like to hunt in packs.

Next time you’re at the bar, look around at the groups of gossiping women, and take note of their posture. If they are huddled in a closed circle, speaking under their breaths, it’s a no-no. There’s no way into that circle, and you might as well forget about the gorgeous blonde on the right and move on.

However, if you see a circle where an opening has been left, or if the group forms a V or horseshoe shape, top up your glass and tally hoe. Observing these signs is generally a good way to judge the mood and intentions of groups of women. If they’re in a tight circle, they’re there for the gossip. If you see the V, they’re waiting for that drink.

BL Lesson 4: Eye Contact

Eye contact is an incredibly powerful tool. Catching someone’s eye is often the first step to getting lucky. Keep it for three seconds, and you might not be going home alone.

Many women are not scared to engage in long bouts of eye contact once they’ve honed in on a potential victim. Look out for signs of small hand movements, and quick glances to the left. These are good signs that you might be in with a sporting chance.

But be careful – just because she’s looking in your direction, doesn’t mean she’s looking at you. Before making any rash moves, make sure she’s not checking out the stud behind you, or it’s back to the dry cleaners.

Remember, women can multitask. This is an ability not to be taken lightly. Whether it means being able to scream at you whilst simultaneously cooking dinner, or enjoying their unfair advantage of multiple orgasms, women have the upper hand in courtship. So where does this leave you?

Look out for the wandering eye. She might be in deep conversation with her mate, but if she’s subtly checking the place out (i.e. looking toward the entrance), she’s looking to find something more interesting than the conversation she’s in at the moment. Move in for the kill.

The group stare is a phenomenon that cannot be overlooked. Women have an incessant urge to share anything and everything with each other, so if she thinks you’re hot, she’s more than likely going to tell her mates. Look out for groups of women looking in your direction – there’s a good chance one of them is interested - or that your fly is down.

BL Lesson 5: The way you move 

So you think the only reason women go to the bathroom every five minutes is because they’ve got inherently weak bladders? Think again, buddy. If she’s walking past you every five minutes, she’s probably interested. So stop her in her tracks, introduce yourself, and get busy. Eye contact is again important. If she’s flying past you without even a glance, she probably just needs the loo.

Dancing is very important to many women, and even though you may not be the king of the dancefloor, it’s a good activity to participate in to gauge whether or not you’re working your magic.

If she’s dancing close to you, and her body posture is open, it’s all good. If she’s constantly looking away or turning her back to you, it's not at all good. Dancing can also be a very intimate affair and for many women, a rather sexual experience, so grab a partner and cut the rug. Think of it as a means to an end.

How you move your head also says a lot about how you feel. If she tilts her head slightly while glancing at you, it could mean a happy ending. The neck is a vulnerable area, and by her exposing it to you, she is signalling that she might learn to trust you, so work it.

Smiling is more important than you may think. In fact, a serious amount of research has gone into how we smile, and why. Generally, if a smile causes a thick lined crease on each of the cheeks, it is a genuine one. If not, it is forced, as the muscles are not reacting to a reflexive contraction of joy or happiness. This can become important when interacting with a woman, and gauging whether or not she’s laughing at, or with you.

Much can be read into the way she walks. If you are following her, you can be sure that she is well aware that you are checking her out.. If she walks in a sexy manner, you know she’s trying to impress. If she walks like a construction worker, it’s game over. Women know how you work, and can manipulate this information to their will. Do not underestimate a women’s ability to sense that that you are out to find some action.

Hands play an important part in body language. Generally, the more open the hand gestures are, the more likely she is willing to let you get close. If she holds her hands, or links her fingers while talking to you, it could be a bad sign – she’s trying to block you out.

The same goes for general body posture. If she crosses her arms, or turns her shoulder or back to you regularly, it could be a sign to go fishing somewhere else. Also note subtle body movements during conversation. If she is leaning towards you a lot, she’s probably keen. If she’s leaning backwards when you talk, check your breath. Or it may just be that she's really not interested.

Many women regard their hair as one of their greatest assets. A quality flirter will remember this and use it to his gain.. Check whether she is flicking, or twirling her hair with her fingers. This is a sign of nervousness, which can be promptly rectified with a bit of courage and charm. She’s waiting for someone to walk up to her, so grab the plate before someone else does.

If on a second date, take extra special note on the state of her hairdo. If she’s taken a lot of trouble, she has done it for you. Even though it may have taken you five minutes to get ready, it’s taken her the entire day, so acknowledge it, and compliment her.

Once a month, a woman’s body language could change completely, and that is during her period. Right, I know it's difficult for us to understand, but if she’s not keen to sit with you in front of the telly, or not as talkative at dinner as usual, she’s probably not feeling too good. The best thing to do in this situation is to offer your help, but not to force your help on her. In most cases, the best thing to do is just let her be, but let her know you’re still there.

BL Lesson 6: Keep it real

Remember that you're dealing with another human being. Once you’re a winner, you’ve got to hold on to your medal. Meeting and charming a girl is one thing, but never forget, that although you may have given it your all to get her, you’ve got to keep up the same spirit to keep her.

Women, like most men, need constant attention. When she dresses up for you, notice it. When a woman wants to please you, she will, and not taking note of this will mean sure disaster. Learn to recognise when she’s angry, and if she needs space, give it to her. If she’s not as physical as usual, take note – she’s probably irritable. Talk to her, find out what’s wrong, and put her first. If you find she’s being very physical, holding your hand constantly, or touching you sporadically, she’s got one thing on the mind. Don't let her down.

Body language and the role it plays in our lives cannot be defined in an article. It is something we all do without always knowing it, and it is an important aspect of human interaction. Learning the ins and outs of body language is key to improving many aspects of your life, including family, business and sexual relationships.

Start observing. Watch how people react to different situations, and try figure out why. Take note of your own body language, and how it makes people react. This could become incredibly helpful when trying to sort out relationship issues, or starting new ones. Remember, that the unspoken word says a lot more than you think. Learn the art of saying nothing in such a way that it leaves nothing unsaid.

Ladies and gents.  What kind of flirting works for you?  We hope you enjoyed this article as much as we did.

Defensive body language

When a individual feels threatened, they tend to display defensive body language.   The person feeling threatened will try to defend themselves even if the other person does not intend to physically hurt them.

We could also compare this defensiveness of humans to animals.  Animals also have their own ways to protect themselves.  A good example is the chameleon that tends to use camouflage as its defensive mechanism. 

If a person would want to attack another person the first thing the person being attacked would do is protect their face, vital organs, fend off (with arms held out).  Using any physical object might be of great use to defend yourself too although this object can be small as a tennis ball or as big as a chair.  You feel that you have power over this barrier and that it comforts you in a way of feeling safe.  Many children also tend to hold animals or objects close to them all the time - whether it's close to their chest or they hide behind it because they feel vulnerable but they feel as if the objects keep them safe.

Further we look at pre-empting attack whether you give in or attack first.  Signals giving this away is avoiding to look at the other person, keeping your head down, crouching and when attacking first the body could be erect and thrust forward.

Attack and defense both appear together therefor the body language might become confusing.  The upper body may be showings signs of attack whilst the legs are twisted together communicating defensiveness.

Who are you?

It is quite interesting in knowing that your body language shapes who you are.  Do you believe this in your own life by the manner you carry or portray yourself?  Take a look at this insightful video.  It might just change your current perspectives on body language.

Have a laugh and learn something valuable from Amy Cuddy.

Interesting differences - it needs no words

Bored ?

We tend to get bored somewhere in our day, especially people who like to be busy bodies the whole time.  Boredom is no state secret and it is quite obvious to fellow friends, family of work colleges when we display this emotion upon our face and body. 

What kind of language does your body speak when you're bored?  

Do you:
* stare around the room you are in?
* do you look at your watch a lot?
* repeat actions like tapping your toes, fidgeting around with everything you're not suppose to be busy with?
* show signs relating to tiredness like leaning against a wall, slouching in you chair or yawn?

These reactions above we might want to make obvious and sometimes not, like when you're attending a very important meeting - it would be inappropriate to show your boredom.

The reason for our boredom is obviously our lack of interest.  If it's not a subject we as individuals can relate to or find interesting we tend to get distracted.

What bores you?

Fear? / Anxious? / Nervous?

How many times have you been scared/ afraid in your life?

As a child it could have been for the dark, funny faces, clowns and as we grow older and get to learn who we are we start to find out what gets us anxious and our heartbeat racing.  Fear occurs as soon as our basic needs get threatened.

It might be spiders, an important interview, a crowd full of people, exams, when you like someone, heights, the unknown, financial doubt, insecurities etc.

Your body has a way of reacting towards that object or subject that gets your heart pumping.  There are a few other symptoms your body can portray such as:
A cold sweat, pale face, dry mouth, speech errors, fidgeting, trembling lip, damp eyes and avoiding eye contact.

We would like to know how your body reacts to fear?

Do you need anger management?

What signs might you be giving?

Are your:

• Neck and/or face red or flushed?
• teeth bared and are you snarling?
•  fists clenched?

•  Do you have the tendency of leaning forward and invade another persons space? you may deliberately threaten a person by invading their body space.

 

• Do you show other signals of aggressive body language like:

• Facial signals

  A lot of signals come from the face from disapproving frowns and pursed lips to sneers and full snarls. The eyes can be used to stare and hold the gaze for long period. They may also squint, preventing the other person seeing where you are looking at that moment.
  

  Attack signals

  When somebody is about to attack, they give visual signal such as clenching of fists ready to strike and lowering and spreading of the body for stability. They are also likely to give anger signs such as redness of the face.  This would commonly happen before a fight.
  

  Exposing oneself

  To expose yourself is another form of aggression. It is saying 'Go on - I dare you (motivating the person to carry on). I will still win.' It can include not looking at the other person, crotch displays, relaxing the body, turning away etc.
  

• Use of power body language (Touch -"HAPTICS":
  Touching is a powerful symbol as we've seen in previous post (haptics). Touching people can be threatening, and is used by leaders to demonstrate power.
  
  The handshake is, of course, a touch, and can lead to further touching, such as the elbow grip and patting shoulders and back.
  
  If you'd like a laugh check out the movie: Anger Management
  
  
  

Haptic Feedback - technology

Ever heard of haptic feedback? 

Here we start to mention technology.  Ever notice how the world of touchscreens are starting to take over?  Touchscreens would not exist without the human sense of touch. What a privilege to be able to touch.

Haptic feedback can also be seen as an user interface or simly haptics.  Haptic feedback is the use of the sense - touch - in a user interface to provide information to the end user.

When we communicate and physically touch we sometimes intend to send another message as not initially intended. The same counts when technology like mobile phones come into the picture.  When you want a specific function or information to appear you need to touch the screen (applicable to touch interfaces) to make that happen.  A user can also set vibration functions to activate when a touch action is used.

Touch can take place between people or you and your technological device like your iPad or iPhone ect. Touching is all around us. Can you imagine a world where we wouldn't be able to touch?

HAPTICS - Culture facts

Interested in some interesting facts that shed light on culture differences -

Touching is infrequent in western cultures which makes it even more significant when it happens. 

French and Italians for example, tend to touch frequently even continuously while walking, whereas the British prefer not to touch at all. At sporting events and especially in celebration of victory or success, such as scoring a goal or point, touching among male athletes is permitted whereas in the dressing room, a hands-off policy is the norm. 

India, Italy, Turkey, Greece, the Middle East, Spain, Russia and parts of Asia are cultures that accept touching more often whereas no touching cultures includes Germany, Japan, England, United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Estonia, Portugal, Northern Europe and Scandinavia.

In the workplace, touching is fairly uncommon. We therefore use the handshake as a universal form of touching to avoid offending others. More intimate forms of touching sometimes occurs such as a friendly pat on the back to display encouragement but generally speaking, touching at work should be kept to a minimum. 

Cultures around the world, different perspectives on the subject of touching

HAPTICS

We're going to start taking a look at haptics.  Haptics is originally a Greek word that represents the study of our sense of touching in a medical, biological or technological manner.

Through touching we communicate.   Touching is one of the most common ways we communicate with one another.  Touching is a direct result of allowing other people to enter our personal space and feeling comfortable with it.  

Touch is the most real, sincere and emotionally connected manner to experience and sense the world around us. 

We receive a large amount of information from our skin when the environment or other people interact with us.  Studies have shown that babies who lack a sense of touch have a low sense of survival, in contrast to other senses.  Touching is actually the first sense we develop when we're born.

On the next post we'll be checking out the types of touch there are.  Don't miss out!

The story below the brow -

It's what you don't say that matters...

Interesting facts on the different directions your eyes follow with Robert Phipps.

The eyes

What do you think about this? and are your eyes dwelling around right now?

Happy birthday Madiba! Remember to dedicate 67 min...

Happy 95th birthday Madiba!

What an inspiring leader.  Remember to dedicate 67 minutes of your time to make the world a better place.  Lets stand together in peace, love and respect towards one another in honor of what Madiba stands for.  Please feel free to share your ideas with us.

MONDAY ?

It's Monday... Mondays are suppose to represent the beginning of a fresh NEW week...Do you feel excited to wake up on a Monday ready to go to school or work?

If Monday had a facial expression what would you do to Monday?

NO WONDER THEY SAY MONDAYS ARE (BLUE)

Please remember to check us out on Facebook and follow us on Twitter - your Mondays will just get better! (Work on improving your excitement for Mondays)

GUESS THE EXPRESSION

How has your body language been since you've received the previous post?  It's time to see how good you are at identifying facial expressions.  

What do you read in this face?

According to Nick Morgan on the Forbes website : "The face is a poor place to start reading body language.   By the time most of us are adult, we’ve learned to mask our true feelings  — at least as they show up in our face – because we have to get along at work, at home, and in social settings.  So we pretend to be interested, we pretend to smile, we assume a bland expression when we’re actually peeved, and so on."

Of course, we’re not perfect at these polite deceptions.  We don’t always manage to stifle that 

yawn completely.  But for the most part, the face we present to the world is a polite mask that 

hides our true feelings.  And that’s a good thing, usually:  it helps us all get along -Nick 

Morgan".

• Would you agree with this satement?  

**Please don't forget to follow us on Twitter and to check out our Facebook page.  Don't be shy, reply.

Crossing your arms

Crossing our arms is something we do very often, sometimes not implying anything and we tend to do it due to our subconscious.  What message does crossing a person's arms have for you?

Would you categorize it as a negative or positive message?  Do you see it as a kind of shyness?  Do you see it as being in control? (Think about yourself and when you tend to cross your arms).

We need to think before we cross our arms, because other people might read a message that we did not initially intend on sending out to them.

We are all human beings and have the tendency to get ticked off because of  another person's body language portrayed towards us.  We can either approve it in our heads or become more skeptical of what they are thinking.

Today I was at a festival called Nampo Oesdag for all the farmers. It started raining unexpectedly so the nearest thing I could find similar to an umbrella was a plastic bag...I pulled it over my head and as I walked through hundreds of people I received a few raised eyebrows.

Was I skeptical? No.  Did I approve? Yes.

I just laughed at them..because their hair got wet and I was safe.

Do you think we should always approve the body language of others towards us?

Follow us on Twitter @body_chat and like our Facebook page

Interesting fact

Do you know that before you could even speak, you've been communicating through body language? 

Now at a later stage in life we start analyzing what we do when we speak. 

Our particular situation can have a potensial impact on our reactions.  At only a few months we can communicate when we've had enough food, when we're unhappy, when lemons are sour, etc. by only using facial expressions.

Do you have any funny childhood video's you would like to share with us?

Self confidence

Want to be more self-confident?  Here are a few quick tips:

*Defy gravity
*Claim space
*Displaying non-defending gestures

If we behave in a positive way, you'll get a positive reaction.

Detect lies -What is your strategy?

Check out the video of Scam School

Always pay attention to how a person would usually react in a particular situation.

Do you have a strategy in mind before you tell a lie?

Lying - Sweaty palms

Ever experience sweaty palms in the midst of telling a lie... It just happens, you literally have no control over how your body reacts biologically. 

According to body language expert Jack Claridge sweaty palms aren't always noticeable to the person who is being lied to but the symptom is there.  It is caused by the a rise in the liar's metabolism as they lie, which in turn causes their heart rate to increase.  Sweaty palms are one of the mehods that are used by a Polygraph Machine (Lie detector).

How do lie detectors work?  

Their primary function is to determine if a person is lying or telling the truth by answering some specific questions related to the specific context of the situation.

In the picture we can see that four to six sensors are attached to him. A machine called a polygraph uses multiple "poly" signals from the sensors that are recorded on a strip of moving paper (graph).  Sensors usually recorded are:

• Breathing rate
• pulse
• blood pressure
• perspiration
• sometimes arm and leg movement

As the test is put into progress the questioner will ask a few simple questions to determine the norms for the person's signals.  After this the real questions that will be asked is being tested by the polygraph.  The person's signals will be recorded throughout the questioning period.

During and after the test has taken place a polygraph examiner will look at the graphs to see whether the vital signs changed significantly on any of the questions that were asked.Put into general, a drastic change (like a faster heart rate, higher blood pressure and increased perspiration) indicates that the person is indeed lying.

A polygraph test is not perfect but can be fooled, because an examiner's interpretation is subjective and because different individuals react differently to lying...

Lying - eye contact

Have you ever been intrigued by the fact that someone could be lying to you to your face? The person could be telling you through his or her body language.

We should be aware of the possible signs when someone would be lying to our face. The words coming from their mouths might fool you, but if you can read their body language, you'll be able to tell apart a lie from the truth.

We use eye contact to also send a message. According to a study done in India by Narendra Sonu Tayade at the Commerce and Science College in Erandol, India, when eye-to-eye contact is avoided it can be a sign of a lie, or a lack of self confidence or something being kept secret.

Your eyes can portray a different message al depending on the circumstance and atmosphere of a situation you find yourself in.

Are you a fan of the series "Lie to me?" We suggest you check it out. You'll learn a lot.

Remember to check out or FB and Twitter pages and remember it's always safe to make eye contact and be honest.

Approachable body language.

Enzine Articles Expert Author Jim Johannasen gives us a more in-depth perspective on what approachable body language means for us and provides us with helpful ideas related to positive approaches.  He mainly emphasizes to dress appropriately, to make eye contact, to be aware of your facial expressions. You can visit the article at: http://ezinearticles.com/?Approachable-Body-Language&id=4079214

Jim says that the most important of all is to keep your intentions and emotions  genuine and to remember to maintain a positive outlook.

This could be very helpful.  In what manner do you usually approach people?

Feel free to share your tips and experiences with us.  Remember to visit our Twitter and Facebook pages

 

Introduction given by Body Language Consultant - Mike Carter

Michelle Mays

Mike Carter - Body Language Consultant gives an introduction and overview of the importance 

of body language and managing your gestures.  He gives a few tips as well.  Each person 

has a different approach to the message they want to send out.  Being quick and efficient in

reading others body language is what we want to accomplish.  Do you agree or differ from Mike's tips?

         
 Visit us on Facebook and give your opinion or @body_chat